I first posted this in March 2014 on another platform. I am posting it now, here, because I realised I wanted everything important to me to be in one place.

@AngharadsWife asked me the other day if I could remember the first time I masturbated. I can’t remember why the topic came up but she was shocked because I have no recollection at all of my first wank whereas she can remember hers in detail. I can, however, remember the first time I experienced an orgasm.

There were a few months on the cusp of puberty when climbing a rope in P.E. or sliding down stairs elicited an extremely pleasant feeling, a feeling which made my whole body tingle from the roots of my hair to the tips of my fingers and toes. I first felt it climbing one of those ropes primary schools had hanging from the ceiling.

We had a back, former servants’, staircase in the house we were living in at that time and we spent a lot of time sliding down them as boys especially when I discovered that the same sensation happened if you slid down forward on your front. I spent a lot of time sliding down the stairs.

Looking back from adulthood these were obviously my first orgasmic feelings made more fascinating because they were androgynous in their nature. I was not thinking about my body, my sexuality or those of anybody eIse. I took pleasure in my body in a way that I have never been able to do since. With the benefit of adult eyes, particularly my now more liberated eyes I can see that, pre-puberty, without hormones, my body was responding in a different way to stimuli than it can now that it is flooded with testosterone.

I can still remember the disappointment when, without warning, one day the feeling went away. I didn’t have orgasms to that intensity for about 20 years and have never since had one that felt like they did. When people with vaginas describe an intense orgasm, I am transported in time to those dark, curved back stairs because they are describing that feeling exactly. But then puberty took over and my hormones kicked in.

Published by Charlotte

Closeted Transwoman.

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