If you are closeted, what do you do about your hair? Most men don’t notice, but there are enormous differences between men’s hair and women’s hair, though admittedly, for the trendy young, those differences are smaller than they used to be. But I am perceived to be neither trendy, nor young! I do, as I am not a man, notice hair!

So what should a closeted mtf do when she goes to get her hair cut? The first thing I realised was that I was going to have to explain to the person cutting my hair what style I wanted, and more importantly, l was going to have to explain why! The thought of coming out to somebody I didn’t really know was terrifying!

So what I actually did was turn the whole thing on its head: l made absolutely sure that there was no way that the person cutting my hair would have any idea who I was at all!So when I was due to attend Scottish Conference in Glasgow I researched unisex hair salons and booked myself into one that looked nice. And…. I booked myself in under the name of Charlotte!!! In for a penny, in for a pound! On my, but I was nervous, and immensely proud when I answered to my name, out loud for the first time ever! But I became all flustered when I started to ask for what I wanted doing to my hair. WhatI said was, “I would like a hairstyle that is quite short but if I brush it and take care of it, it will be quite feminine, but if I ruffle it up it will look messy and masculine. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of a wash, cut and blow dry, I realised as my hair was being cut that I needed a better way of describing what was on my head looked like in my head!! I was not totally happy with the result. And that was the most expensive haircut I ever had!

So, before I next went to get my hair cut, I opened a pinterest account and looked at many different hairstyles. I began to realise that a Pixie Cut, or a shorter, shaped cut was going to be the way to go as I could really dress it up, be really feminine, or wear it scruffy, undone and more “masculine!”

So, I had decided on the type of cut, but where to get it done! The place I had been to in Glasgow was expensive and, at the time, I was not out to anybody except my immediate family and one friend. Fortunately, in this instance, my son is an elite athlete which requires me to drive all over the UK.

So, once every three months, I did my research. I wanted a unisex salon, not far away from the venue, with appointments available on a Saturday. The latter was usually the most difficult, It often meant ringing several different places until I could find one with an appointment.

However, that was the easy part. Once there, I had to go through the nerve-wracking bit of, at least partially, each time coming out to a different person. The only time I didn’t come out was when I went to a salon in France. Neither the woman cutting my hair nor the woman who washed it could speak any english at all so I just resorted to showing them a picture of what I wanted. That was a really good cut actually! To be fair every single stylist took the whole thing completely in their stride! One lady in Helensburgh told me that they had several regulars who said similar things and cure for similar cuts.

Finally I realised that there was absolutely no point in roving around the country getting my hair cut anonymously when there was a great salon here. So, I go in, I tell them I am gender fluid, show them the pictures further up the page and sit back! Bliss.

Published by Charlotte

Closeted Transwoman.

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